extended VROOM

I'm finally in my first accounting class and I'm finding my classmates to be dull and boring. I suppose that's what most people think about numbers. I'm still excited :) But I can't seem to focus. Perhaps a glass of wine will help!

I unblocked my relationship status today from Bilbrey and Y. But now it just says that my relationship is no longer complicated. Which is the truth. I had a complicated relationship with Y. Now that things are out in the open, it's not complicated anymore. Honestly, it's always been up there because of him.

I don't know what's going on in my head about all this Y stuff. I have it GREAT with J. We make a great team. We have the same vision for our future.

It's the same story all over again, isn't it?

posted by ahoy there matey @ 6:42 PM

hm. It's always a strange feeling to see someone you were dating with a new someone--- especially if that new someone reminds you a bit of yourself. blaaahhhh. I'm not jealous. But it's still a strange feeling.

I would be lying if I said he didn't cross my mind on a daily basis. uggghhhhh. WHYYYY am I like this?!?!?! It's because he was everything that J wasn't. But still was most what I wanted. If he was 6 inches taller, had a better food range, and claimed me as his when he had the chance, this wouldn't be an issue. Actually, had he made some type of commitment, I wouldn't have gone anywhere.

As happy as I am with J, the pain of him leaving still lingers. I don't know how to resolve that. It still haunts me... makes me paranoid. Helps me to justify thoughts of Y. Makes me think of the "could have" instead of the "what could be."

Hm. I don't really know what to do with it. I feel horrible if I keep him in my pocket. I feel horrible for how I left it. I want to scream at him for not committing to me, but at the same time, I'm SOOOO happy with J right now that I'm glad he didn't.

Blah. I dunno. I should be happy. I should let Y go.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:36 PM