extended VROOM

Despite the frustration and angst displayed on mainpage, i havent forgotten that today is a day of THANKS. Although, i do find it disturbing that americans have decided to keep only ONE DAY for thanking the Lord for all that he has blessed us with. Personally, i like to thank Him whenever something wonderful/lucky/normal/works out/safe/family/everything happens, and everytime i wake up to a new day. but that's just me.

SO... what is marmar thankful for this holiday??

~being able to spend time with my extended family. despite our proximity, our schedules are much too busy for anything other than holidays together.

~my wonderful GREEK family. my AphiG sisters. my big bro and twin. my pledge bros. and the Greeks in general that have always made my nights and days.

~the safety and wellbeing of my family.

~being able to live in the most wonderful city in the world

~my friends at work and from the past, who always keep me entertained, sane, and in my place

~alcohol. yeah you heard me. and ofcourse, my liver.

~every opportunity i have been given this lifetime. every lucky break. every lucky night i've had. everytime He has kept me safe despite my stupidity.

~finally crossing a lil sis... who turned out to fit right into the Freak family!

~my youth.

I know it's a bit general. but that's how i feel. i really am genuinely thankful for everything that i have received this year, and every opportunity i've had to give back.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:35 AM

i'm still wondering what to do tomorrow night. here are my options:::

1) Dinner w/ Ha for her Bday followed by clubhopping downtown
2) Find a couple of sisters for Wednesday night hullabaloo at HOB
3) Hang out with China and see where that goes
4) Tag along with Dookie and his buddies for some clubhopppin downtown
5) Look for CheckGuy in PB

The only one i'm actually excited about is option 5. (see today's mainpage entry for reference). The only thing is... that's the only option where i'm not sure what's going to happen. any of the other 4 options is guaranteed fun. actually... i take that back.... option 4 might be a bust, only cuz the buddies of Dookie i've kicked it with is not marfunmaterial.

bah. i want my checkguy, damnit. stupid china. why did he have to pull me away?

GRRRRR.

i should really just rally up some sisters for some good times. at least that's guaranteed fun. and drag Ha along with us. =)

or i could just spend an evening with my favorite Cow and my best buddy Jager and call it a night. at least there'll be some good tv on that night. and it would hella save me some money. (we all know how broke i am)

ofcourse... i do remember a conversation with my bestest big bro about gettin some hot chocolate and catching up.

and at the moment i'm trying to get hotboywithnogameTuan to come out with me and do SOMETHING.

and i think i remember telling my husbandtobeRonnie that we would get wasted.

OY. too many choices

what to do. what to do.

Then again... erik will be down. i'm sure he'll need some help with those presentations that are due next week.

OOH! homework! i'm excited. Dookie never did give me any of his geometry to do. or any of his reading assignments. or any of his stupid papers to do. UGH.

man. this kinda bites. i dont really know what to do.

oh yeah. another choice: make some marppleade for the kiddies and hang out at the Lauder apartment and see where that goes. maybe i can get China to come with me so he can meet my friends.

i guess we'll see.

i just wanna find my CheckGuy and spend the whole weekend with him. and then some. and then some more. and GET some!!!

posted by ahoy there matey @ 10:02 PM

The Day of the Brilliant Path (06.05) aka Big Bro's Birthday

Those born on June 5 are often amazed when others dont understand them. In their own ears, their language is plain and simple, based on fact, pragmatic. Yet their ideas can be intricate, involved, and aoccasionally out of touch with reality; their listeners may manage to follow their train of thought yet fail to ultimately grasp the meaning or intention behind it. Some June 5 people put far too much emphasis on developing ideas and systems of thought, and too little on the natural facts of everyday life.
It is true that many June 5 people seem to live in their own world. Yet so important is communication to them that they will be greatly frustrated if misunderstood. Successful people born on this day learn to raise their aggravation threshold, and at the same time allow people the time and space to take in what they say. Less evolved June 5 people come on in a rush, expecting others to anticipate the next thought of what could only be called an interiour monologue. Instead of just vocalizing what's on their mind, they have to learn to chew over ideas and deliver them in a leisurely and measured fashion. For example, instead of using a dozen arguments to support a position, delivering one convincing argument may be far more effective.
As they mature, most June 5 people become more restrained, more measured and thoughtful. If they can get a handle on their energy, then their systematic ways will order their lives well. If not, then chaos will regin. Those born on this day should never lose their enthusiasm, but simply learn to curb it a bit and accept disappointments and setbacks with steadfastness and composure.
June 5 people have a strongly compulsive side that urges them to get things right. Some women born on this day are taken for flakes early in life, but can develop into super-capable people, proving their detractors wrong. Many June 5 people are prone to worry unless every last detail and evetuality is prepared for. "What if?" is a question they constantly ask themselves and others. This worry usually springs from fear that they will be severly criticized for making errors or made to look foolish. If they can lighten up a bit, and occasionally laugh at themselves, they will be happier and healthier.
Most June 5 people are highly competitive and like to win. Thought not perfectionstss by nature, some born on this day wind up mercilessly driving themselves in that direction, thinking such an attitude will help them succeed. Often their own worst enemy, they create difficulties for themselve sna others wihch do not exist. Mental conflicts particularly attract them, but it is more often physical challenges they must overcome. Anxieties can be avoided by finding satisfaction in activities which balance both mind and body.

Numbers and Planets
THose born on the 5th of the month are ruled by the number 5 and by the planet Mercury. Gemini is also ruled by Mercury. Since this plante represents quickness of thought and change, June 5 Geminis are particualary apt to change their minds and physical surroundings wiht regularity. Those born on this day must control their impulsive nature, a side of their personality that enhances their attractiveness but can drive others to distraction it brings on trouble. On the good side, the hard knocks that those ruled by the number 5 receive from life typically will have little lasting effect on them; they recover quickly.

Tarot
The fifth card of the Major Arcana is the Hierophant, andinterpreter of sacred mysteries who is symbolic of human understanding and of faith. His knowledge is esoteric and he has authority over things unseen. Favorable traits conferred by this card are self-assuredness, absence of doubt and proper interpreation; unfavorable traits are moralizing, bombast, and dogmatism.

Health
Because of their active natures, June 5 people burn up a lot of energy and need regular pit stops. Thei diets often run ighih in protein and carbohydrate sugars, but seem to suit them well at least until later in life. THose born on this day also tend to go heavy on caffeine, nicotine, or alcohol when they are so inclined, and should try to moderate their habit or quit altogether.In regard to their health, June 5 people should certainly follow the systematic rather than the the impulsive side of their nature. A varied diet is best for them, but they may still have to add vitamins and minerals from natural food supplements. Regular exercise is ually attractive to June 5 people, so they only have to beware of overdoing it. They should maintain a moderate exercise program as they approach middle age.

Advice
Some form of mental training is essential for your success. Simplify your thought; sonvey clearly what your intentions are. Slow down a bit and make sure everyone's still with you.

Meditation
The movement of music happens not in the notes themselves, but between the notes, in the silences.

STRENGTHS::
energetic
systematic
quick-witted

WEAKNESSES::
anxious
chaotic
bewildered

posted by ahoy there matey @ 12:58 PM

The Day of Emotional Stimulation (06.28) aka Erik's Birthday

Those born on June 28 generally put emotion before reason, and their approach to matters is deirect and immediate. They make a most undersal appeal to their co-workers, friends or family, a large part which is the humor and cajoling they employ. Since humor is a superior way to reach people, they usually succeed in making an impression.
June 28 people have a way of moving others to react to them emotionally, and may in fact be deliberately provocative when trying to garner attention. They shock value they elicit is considerable and those who know them sooner or later come to expect almost anything. Although they may appear highly spontaneous due to their antics, most of what they do is well thought out beforehand. Indeed, those born on this day are masters at anticipating the effect they will produce.
Generally June 28 people eschew patient, subtle persuasion in favor of an all out frontal attack. Yet, they are so proficient at what they do and so masterful in their detailed planning that they rarely misjudge their audience or target group. Those born on this day tend to be more extroverted than introverted, but nonetheless are deep, complex individuals who are not easily understood.
Many June 28 people are leaders and movers in their family circle or social group. As employees they can tuck themselves away for a time in a quiet place and work unassumnily but if they sense and opportunity to share a funny story or make and outrageous comment they will tend to go for it. Logical thinking is not their forte, however, and it is more often their consistent work ethic or inspiration that makes them good employees. Bot for those born on this day, diligence at work does not necessarily mean order at home, and personal areas of their life (love, housework, raising children, keeping appointments, etc) may be quite chaotic, even completely out of hand.
Probably the worst punishment for June 28 people is to go unappreciated or ignored. Some born on this day gyrate back and forth between an intensely social need for interaction and appreciation on the one hand and the urge to be alone witht their eccentricities on the other. Mates and children of such June 28 people must either have a great sense of humor and loads of tolerance or perhaps blind love to put up with them.
Those born on June 28 often display a great objective interest in people. Because they are fascinated with human characteristics (particularly those of children), they may become taken by stuidies of behavior, history, language or anthropology. In this respect they can make excellent psychologists who offer insight into people's motivations, thoughts, and actions. In their circle they are often consulted where a matter of human nature is concerned but may mnot be taken seriously by everyone due tot their habit of putting people on. Behind the jovial facade, however, a June 28 person is most often hypersensitive and serious.

Numbers and Planets
Those born on the the 28th of the motnh are ruled by the number 1, and by the SUn. Those ruled by the number 1 are highly individual, of a definite viewpoint and eager to rise to the top. Because June 28 people are, as mentioned, strongly dominant types, they must beweare of being driven by their power urges or drowning others out in a flood of emotion (emphasized by the influence of the Moon, Cancer's ruler). The Sun carries in its symbolism strong creative energy and fire, which should be kept flowin steadily rather than allowed to sporadically flare out of control.

Tarot
((((Same as Mar's card. The Magician. Go back to main page and look for yourself cuz i'm too lazy to type it out again or to cut and paste)))))

Health
June 28 people truly like to eat and often suffer problems with their weight. They flamboyant nature can lead them to think of meals as events, focusing on the delight of the meal and the company rather than the nutritional content. THis can create all sorts of digestive problems, including those of the stomach, liver, gall bladder, and intestines. Those born on this day have a higher than normal incidence of addiction and would be better of avoiding experimentation with chemical substances. Liver problems here tend to accompany excess alcohol consumption. Regual physical exercise of a vigorous sort is recommended for June 28 people who too often exercise in bed and leave it at that.

Advice
Being the center of attention is fun but we all have to grow up sooner or later. Work on your destructive side. FInd a way to hold your tongue when necessary, while maintaining your find sense of humor.

Meditation
Turning one's back to another, whether among animals or humans, is the most direct way of expressing contempt.

STRENGTHS:
Humorous
Interesting
Entertaining

WEAKNESSES:
Oblivious
Imprecise
Grating

posted by ahoy there matey @ 12:36 PM

it's an addictive personality. consistently preying on one thing, and getting attached. then moving on as soon as something bigger and better comes along. or otherwise is better for, or feels better.

its happened with alcohol. its happened with friends. its happened with tv shows, movies, bands, experiences, restaurants, and more recently.... boys.

ever since graduation, i've had this huge, gaping void in my life. it consists of time not very well spent, and a deteriorating brain capacity. i NEED something to fill the time. something that stimulates me. something that doesnt consist of laying around the house looking for things to do. or looking for things to avoid doing.

the key thing that has creeped into my life is my drinking habits and my obsessive need to be around an adoring male. not necessarily one that i adore, but more like one that adores me. i crave the attention. i crave the feeling. and i generally like having someone that will hang on my every word or imagine what things he could possibly do to me if given the chance.

ofcourse, in my case, the boy will never really have much of a chance. as erica so subtly put it, i'm a cocktease, and the worst kind. because i have this ability to make the other person feel like they're the most special person in the world to me, and the next day not have the decency to call or text or even give a wee bit of holler. Dookie decribed it best when we went out the other night. he wouldnt dance, so i danced with someone else, and walked away when i was bored. the look on his face was one of discontent and confusion. an effect i tend to have on most people, when i really just dont care that much.

because walking away is easy. its taking the time to really detach that's hard. and when there are feelings involved, it makes it a tad more difficult, but not by so much. and why so? because to walk away is just that. leaving something behind that, although you may have cared for it once, you no longer need, or no longer want in your life. leaving something that is completely unnecessary to your future existence is something that everyone needs to learn how to do. because it makes life easier. and the sooner that you grab hold of that philosophy, the better off you'll be.

but i digress.

but isnt that the whole point of this? yes. it is.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 12:41 PM

brian left me a message the other day. actually, it was yesterday. he was on his way to Long beach to "hang out." this after he calls from a private number. i dont know what to think.

i like this time away. and it makes me not want to go back. i still love him. i just dont want to go back until i'm settled. until i've sowed my seeds (note: not have seeds sowed into me).... and just be a big fat slut for the meanwhile.

but i'm not doing a very good job being a slut. a good tease. but not a good slut. i just need a good lay. maybe i can booty call brian. but that's just asking for bad things.

erik was just telling me how the bar he went to ran out of jager. THE HORROR!!!! that's a sad, sad bar.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 7:17 PM

so Chinaman is gone for 10 days. i dont really know how to feel. i feel relieved that he's gone. it gives me time to hang out with other boys. or hang out with myself. i think i'll miss him. but since the conversation isnt that good in the first place... i dont know if i'll really miss him. i think i'll just miss hanging out with him. actually... when we hang out, all we ever do is make out.

i was reading his profile in the birthday book. and for future references, it's April 27, 1979. and he seems to be a recluse. no social skills. he's pretty handy when it comes to being self sufficient. he knows how to handle his shit. knows how to take care of business. but when it comes to PEOPLE... he could care less. but it also says that he needs someone playful and full of life. someone like ME!

but then it brings up one of MY issues. my whole life i've always been with people that i know i'm good for, but are not too good for me. (brian was sort of an exception to the rule. although he did need me more in his life than i needed him). but then again, my birthday profile says that i have a tendency to be with people that have a dependency on me for something or another. hm. damnit. i dont know how to change that. and i dont know if i'm even able to or even if i want to.

which brings up another point: where is this thing with Chinaman going? i'm not too sure. i told myself that this would be nothing but a weeklong thing... and yet here i am waiting for him to come back from duty. yikes. i scare me.

on the other hand... tuan seems to be very interested. we could be each other's rebound. he broke up about the same time as bri and i did. actually... i think everyone is breaking up. my big bro and sandee broke up too. and jan and david. and gina and steven. and catherine and mark. hmm... something's up in the world.

i like tuan. i met him during the mark days. he's cute. he's funny. and he seems interested. in a rebound, at least. which we both need desperately. unfortunately, he's a perverted computer geek. and apparently, i'm a pearl redneck? ( i still dont know what that means, but it has something to do with me liking alcohol and baseball.)

p.s. we have to talk about size. man. i guess with asian guys, the opposite is true. so ladies... if you see an asian guy with big feet, or is really tall and you think that the manhood is proportional to the man itself... RUN the other direction. in my experience, the bigger the guy, the smaller the jimmy. which is a sad, sad thing. because he's got everything else working for him, until someone decideds to rear his tiny little head. =(

cry cry. i wish there was such a thing as the perfect guy para mi.

i guess we'll see, right?

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:28 PM

Chinaman doesn't make me as nervous as i he used to. i think i just needed to spend some more time with him to get my confidence back. 'sides.... i'm hotter than him anyway. =)

the sad thing is... he's PERFECT on paper. you read my post. he's everything i've wanted. but then when we're together.... there's not much there. just the physical. =P

i know i shouldn't be complaining. at least i have someone right now, right? but he doesnt really count. i know i said i think i found a husband, but just spending more time with him made me realize that this is probably gonna end up as just a fling. damn. now i feel bad that he's planning to spend a week vacation with me instead of in new york with his momma.

yesterday i gave Dookie a copy of my boyfriend wishlist. hey... whatever... he asked for it. so i handed it to him and told him to score himself. i think he was sad that he didnt even make 30%. and on the top of the page, he wrote "Maria's Boyfriend Application." how cute. it's stuff like that that makes me wonder about him. i mean... he doesn't have his stuff together, but he has such a big heart.

but a big heart doesn't guarantee a solid future. or a happy one, at that.

james invited my to his frat party on friday 11/11. i told him i have plans. i dont really have SOLID plans... there are a couple of good movies out that night that Chinaman wanted to go see with me.... but it's not really definite.

i know we're broken up, but i dont know if i should keep that date open for brian. i know i SHOULDNT. there isn't any reason to. we're BROKEN UP. but it doesnt mean i dont love him, and that i dont still cherish the day that we consider our anniversary.

man. i'm talkin like a crazy woman. I SHOULD MAKE PLANS. not to spite brian... but because it's a FRIDAY night and i've already had a couple of invitations. GRR.

i need to just get over it. It's called a breakup because its BROKEN.,end of story.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 9:12 AM

did you ever watch "harold and kumar go to whitecastle"? so you know harold? aka John Cho? aka one of my biggest hollywood crushes ever?

chinaman looks JUST LIKE HIM!!!! and if you've read my nov1st entry on him on 52govroom.com, OY VEY!!!

i think i'm in LUST!!!

actually... i think i just found me a husband!

i think i convinced him to only go back to nyc for just a week out of his two weeks of leave.... so he could spend the next week with ME!

man. i'm gettin WAY too ahead of myself. i still havent seen his weewee. that's the make ir or break it point... wouldn't you say?

hahah. how crude.

you guys are gross.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 10:11 AM