extended VROOM

i just feel so out of the loop. I'M NOT EVEN LINKED!

okay. i WORK full time. i always have SIX classes per semester. i still need to study. i still need to sleep. i still need to eat. and i still need to work my hygienic routine. there isn't much free time. there isnt much ME time. there isnt much bf/gf time. and when i say "much" i mean none.

i see brian so much because he's willing to visit me at work for my breaks. he's willing to come over to my house when i'm dead tired to hang out with me. he's willing to go WAAAAY out of his way just to tell me he loves me, in person.

call me crazy. call me clingy. call me uncaring. but whatever.

i feel like i've been purposely left out because they feel that i'm avoiding. or that i'm not making time. or that i dont care.

um... NO.

i dont have time. because there is no time to make. my schedule is not flexible. i'm sorry. but my future is more important than making people happy by making an appearance at a social event. i'm sorry. but i am not willing to sacrifice time away from work or a test grade to be somewhere where i will be ignored. i'm sorry for not acting as i should...but i just don't feel welcome.

i don't have any time. and i am constantly under a great deal of stress. i wish that you would learn to understand that. i wish that you could accept it and be supportive. REALLY SUPPORTIVE... and not just accepting.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:57 PM

shoot me. cuz i'm on friendster now. SHHHH. don't tell. i want people to FIND ME. i'm not into advertising. if people actually care to look, then they'll find me. it's easy. search for mar. or maria@52govroom.com. and you'll find me. no tricks. the thing is... brian doesn't even know yet. and i dont exactly know why i'm posting this here... but i guess it's cuz i feel like if i'm handing out a test, then there should be some sort of clue to it.

friendster is a NETWORK. everyone that i've searched for, i've basically been connected to. my cousins. my friends. my family. my sisters. they're ALL within my network. and i've only saved TWO friends. erik and emil. the two friends that i started out with online. one with my northside branch. one with my southside branch. my northside branch...(via emilio)... i've already gotten many friend requests. but i'm not confirming any of them just quite yet. i would like for my greek family to find me. or at least look for me. i would like for my so called close friends to find me. or at least look for me.

people should be under the assumption that EVERYONE and their mom is on friendster. because it's the truth. regardless of internet access. so i'm hoping that some people actually care enough to find me. and LET ME KNOW that they've found me.

cry for help people. you didnt see this with the pregnancy?

posted by ahoy there matey @ 10:07 PM

i'm thinking maybe i should delete the link to july2003 blogspot archives on my main page. only because there ARE NONE. but whatever.

people that try too hard amuse me. you know the type. the ones that look uber-uncomfy in their threads that they are so proud to bear. because they think that they actually look good in it. i mean... don't get me wrong... the outfit looks good. just not on them. it's been well put together... but the intention just makes it look wrong. it's funny because they buy it as an outfit. then try to work those individual pieces with other pieces of their wardrobe and it just looks horribly wrong. okay. it's sad. but it makes me laugh.

then there are the types that try to define themselves with their material possessions. i mean... don't get me wrong... to a point it's acceptable. but when you're using mommy and daddy's money to buy your rank on the social ladder (when you yourself are already working to pay for the massive amounts of debt that you've accumulated).. it's not cool. why try so hard to define yourself with what you have? you're only fooling yourself.

*****

i've probably been accused many times of being guilty of what i bitch about. but my conscience is clear. yes i like armani. i would rather buy guess jeans than a much less expensive pair of l.e.i jeans. my film has to be kodak. my gas has to be mobil. my diamonds have to be real. my cosmetics have to come from a department store. but that's because i like the finer things in life... when i can afford them. and i like my clothes to FIT RIGHT. because buying QUALITY merchandise will be better for my car, or my face, for my belongings in the long run. i dont buy for the label. but some people will never understand that.

no point in trying to explain. or justify.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 11:57 PM