extended VROOM

for the record: this is my MySpace profile:: i know... LAAAAAAME!


Mar, Mar, she likes the bar.
She wants to be a movie star.
She's 5foot5 when she's alive,
and all her rhymes seem so contrived.
She doesn't seem like such a witch,
But boy, she is if you don't DRINK BITCH!
But overall she's a great gal,
Perky, cheerful, high morale!
Jager is her friend of choice
But any alcohol makes her rejoice.


yes, i'm asian, damnit. a watered-down, abercrombie-wearin, "dude"-sayin, sorority-joinin, anti-nursing, emo-listenin, weezer-worshippin, salsa-makin asian, but ASIAN, nontheless. so deal with it. BTW, i'm the one in the glasses. Myopia SUCKS. anything else, feel free to IM me: SuperMar52


***WARNING: Mar has given up ALCOHOL for Lent!!!! Please be advised that she may be a little cranky in the weeks ahead.***


and p.s. i have the best myspace roomie EVER! Ha-lly is the bestest, most sincere, speed-racerest, freaky-deakiest-dancin, n most loyal-est friend ever! (Thanks for being my second visitor, MSroomie! i promise, next time you come in, i'll make you the bestest drink ever.... served with a side of hottie!)



p.p.s. I HATE YOU GUYS for making me take off Hoobastank. why can't you just support my love for my maaaaaan, maaaaaan!??!? It's okay. cuz Rivers Cuomo owns my heart and ears and groovy fears. And since mar can't be on booze.... then we should ALL BE ON DRUGS!

posted by ahoy there matey @ 9:45 PM

currently watching: My Best Friend's Wedding

got me thinkin thoughts. of how certain situations in my life take similar takes as in the movie. but i'm sure everyone's got some sort of parallel... otherwise the movie would not have done as well as it did.

Ronnie and i are still waiting on 28 before waiting to get hitched. knowing the two of us... we'll both be engaged by then. translation: i wont be mrs. dublada anytime soon. or anytime ever. which is probably better off.

He's got you on a pedestal and me in his arms...

and i've found a total of ONE person that's ever been completely understanding and accepting of that situation with a certain friend of mine. (you know it, and i know it, and if you've read enough of my posts, it's not exactly a riddle). which makes me think of my situation with this friend.

but the situation with this friend.... eh. as far as it will ever go is how far it's come so far. and i'm okay with that, actually, i'm happy for that. because it makes things less complicated... although popular belief seems to be that it will make things LESS complicated if something were to happen. but you dont know us the way we know us. and believe me... it's better off where things stand as of now.

Erik told me Shane was up in the bay. how sad that i totally forgot his name... and now that his name was mentioned again... i can't get him out of my head.

fuckin erik. why'd you have to go and do that, you drunkard? BAH. you know what happpened, and i know what happened... and if there was ever a possibility of it ever happening again... then you better get me a number, fool! bla bla bla.

work at 4am. i should probably get to sleep.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:29 PM

this always puts a smile on my face

hahahhahahah! erik, you're such a goof!

posted by ahoy there matey @ 6:27 PM

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my God, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want God but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from God you say he couldn't be found
Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my God all these songs of love and healing
Want Mashiach now so it's time we start revealing

*King Without a Crown
*Matisyahu

This song gives me a happy feeling.
It actually flows through my body and makes everything in life feel good again.
Maybe it's because i associate it with one unforgettable night....

which is probably right.
because that was an awesome night.
and it wasn't just the alcohol.
it was everything

posted by ahoy there matey @ 6:16 PM

on 02.03.01; mar wrote::
oh well.... i got high. i fucked up. it was an experience. but im not gonna do it again. not to crack down on the potheads, but.. its not for me.

and now we know... she can be quite the pothead at times.


on 02.01.01; mar wrote::
if you ever meet anyone in your lifetime that you can just sit and talk with for a very long time and not get bored, stay with that person. if you ever have a lover that can entertain you for hours on end and never bores you, keep them. if you ever have a friend that never questions the friendship and just cherishes what you have together, by all means keep them in your life. the best kind of relationship is when the people involved never have to question it. "we're complete opposites, so i wonder why we always hang." "he/she's not my type, so why am i so attracted to her/him?" "maybe it's because we HAVE to be around each other all of the time." the best relationships never have those questions in their mind. because if they did, then that just means that whoever is thinking that is trying to find a way out. yeah, it's a nice relationship, but... there's a but. it may be because their opposites, or because the other person doesnt fit right. or maybe because they're around each other so much that it's "best" that they get close. when there is a "but" or a question involved, it kills the whole relationship. the question lingers in the air and haunts the mind. in turn it kills the fluid conversation, dulls the entertainment, and simply puts an splinter in an otherwise great relationship. so if you ever meet anyone that you can have endless conversation with, someone who entertains you, moves you, intrigues you.... and doesnt stop.... don't question it, because you'll ruin it by doing so

and what happened? she let brian go.

on 04.21.02; mar wrote:::
::rules of rebound::
ONE:: never ever ever rebound with a good friend. sure it may seem convenient... even "RIGHT" at the time... but trust me... its not cool. rebounding with a friend jeopardizes the friendship. because it's JUST a rebound. nothing more. and when it's over... then you just lost a very good friend. rebound with a stranger. brings you new experiences. new friends. and if it doesnt work out (and its inevitable that it WONT), then theres no big loss.
TWO:: rebounds should be short, sweet, and to the point. the point is... it brings you OUT of that relationship mode. makes you realize that you dont NEED someone in your life. its better to be single and happy than hooked up and not happy. when you're in rebound, you start to realize that dependence is not the way to go. dependence on another person just sets you up for disappointment when you do end up alone. having a rebound opens your eyes to your own potential. to see the ROCKSTAR within. you dont need to be attached.
THREE:: sex is not the answer. yeah. you probably already know that.
FOUR:: change is good. on the outside. but on the inside... keep it real. better to have substance AND looks than just LOOKS. looks fade. but personality stays FOE LYFE.

and has mar followed the rebound rules? that's a big fucking HELL NO.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 9:20 PM

Tail keeps inviting me on a trip. open invitation. I get this weird vibe from him, and half the time, he can't even look me in the eyes when he talks to me.
i'm not cross-eyed, am i?

I'm seriously considering the trip.
1) because i'll have money to go.
2) i won't have to drive.
3) i've never been without brian.

and this thing with brian is another thing. i'm having my cake and eating it too, with him. i don't know if i should feel guilty, or if i should really talk to him about what's going on.

but our relationship has always been fine without talking about that kind of stuff. it's all been left in the dark, because for some reason, i don't think he would be comfortable talking to me about it. not that i have anything to hide.... but i would rather not him know about some of the things i've done post-breakup.

i just think it would make him insecure. especially that whole thing with china. he doesn't quite know all the details yet. he knows i started dating him (i'm sure), but he doesn't really know how far along the relationship went. (i.e. the whole old-married-couple phase we went thru).

now.... if i go with Tail... i dont know how brian would feel. trips like that have always been something we did together, and something he never really does with anyone else. nor do i. now for me to cross that line.... i don't know how things would fall into place.

now mind you... i have every right to go on this trip. and he has every right to go on similar trips with other people/other girls. but for me to know that we're probably going to end up back together in the future... i don't really know how that would pan out. feelings would definitely be hurt somewhere down the line. if not immediately.

it would be like how kids ask their parents about the "other people" that their parents dated. it's just weird to know that there actually were "other people."

and really.... you know it, i know it... EVERYONE knows it. brian and i will eventually get back together. it's inevitable. we're meant to be. and as cocky as it sounds.... it's true. we're a perfect match. we're the ones that will grow old together. he's going to be picking up my estee lauder when we're both 80 and i can no longer drive. we'll be the old couple you see at the park just sitting at a bench making fun of ducks. because really.... it's gonna happen that way.

i have no doubt in my mind.

with that in mind..... i know i've been doing stuff that will keep riffs in our relationship in the future. but honestly... we're not there yet... and for now... i have every right to.

and if for some reason, things don't pan out as expected... i want to know that i took every opportunity for fun. i don't want to live my life regretting things that i shoulda, coulda woulda.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 7:43 PM

damn. this is the first mardi gras i've missed since turning 21. =( i'm kinda sad... but at the same time... glad.

glad, why? because i actually had the strength to NOT drink and waste money and be irresponsible. and yes... i probably missed out on good times... but you know what? that's okay.

giving up alcohol for lent will be a challenge... but it will be good for me, my bank account, and my liver. we all need a break. and seriously... i need to cut this out before it starts to take over my life again. i have a lot more important things to worry about now.

one being: court date and attorney payments.

another being: school and trying to get a second degree within a year and a half.

thirdly: baseball season

and lastly (but not really): my health and well being


....... and finding a husband... hahaha!

reminds me: i should really call China. i miss that big fuzzless panda bear. and from the looks of things... he misses me too =)

i really want to go to new york.

my brother leaves for Maryland in a couple of days.... and it seems SO surreal. i can't freakin believe this is really happening. i'm gonna miss that fool

but maaaaybeeee.... trip out to the east coast with China!!! and China can/will pay for everything. woop dee doo!!! hahahhahah.... yeah... like that's really gonna happen.

but i really would like to take a trip sometime soon. and who knows when i'll be able to go see bestfriend. =(

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:44 AM