extended VROOM: 05/01/2002

Friday, May 31, 2002

i was thinking about nemo today. i dont understand either. i just was. maybe cuz i was looking through old pictures. and his blue rose still remains in its place on my ceiling. good times. just brought me back in the day. what was it? like 2 summers ago? it was a while back. i was just thinking of how alike we were. we still are. i dont think that that's ever gonna change. but i think i mistook homogamy and propinquity as something more. they were good times. that guy rocks. we have our thang. and regardless of what happened between us in the past, we can overlook all of that and still remain friends. (wait, that makes no sense) but the two of us had a very strange connection. eerie. he always knew exactly what i was thinking at the exact same time. no matter how far apart we were. no matter what was going on in our lives at that particular moment. and its still the same. when we talk. when we see each other again. theres no need for conversation, because we achieve it just by a gesture. and he's real about it. im glad that he's in my life.

so i have this thing about keeping in touch with ex-boyfriends. i like to keep track. because well obviously... i musta liked them before right? i think the only one i never talk to anymore has to be joseph. the first i ever had. i still hear about him every now and then. he's thuggish-ruggish-bone now. his momma is havin a hard time keepin him outta trouble. he coulda gone far had he stayed with me. had he never gone to that underground that one night and met that one girl. but whutevers.

ex-boyfriends are cool. and they're still a part of me. because despite the breakup, they all know different aspects of me. they all still hold a piece of me. even if it's all in the past, they contributed to the person that i am now. so i guess... in a way, if one of them peaces out of my life, it will feel like im losing a part of myself.

that has to be one of the most DEPENDENT phrases ive ever said. but whatever. like you care anyway.

Thursday, May 30, 2002

findapix is funny. found wunna my rho dawg bro's biological little brother on it. funny shit. read back the archives, it's DRICK. the dood w/ the compliment on my personality. rocks how small this world is.

had an unfinished talk with mark today. he says i change when we talk seriously. i guess i do. that's just me trying to recover everything that i have to say. trying to really be open. trying to make sure that i dont make the same mistake i used to by censoring just for the sake of not hurting his feelings. because i know i can be honest with him. i know that he loves me for who i am, even though i might have a tarnished past. he lvoes me for me. just like i love him for him. whatever happenend in his past, or whatever he has to say wont change that. unless he says he doesnt love me... but that's not gonna happen. its just all very new to me. as many relationships as ive had in the past, you'd think that maybe i would be used to all of this already. i mean i am. im just not used to being this happy. i still dont think that this is all real. it's too good to be true. im just waiting for the moment that i have to wake up and face another day as mrs. pooh bear.

being with mark was never planned out. i never expected to really jump into a relationship with him. and me being his first girlfriend, kinda puts a lot of pressure. kinda scurred to meet his cynic buddies. i know i can hang. cuz i know i can. i can take criticism. i can handle that shit. i just know that im LABELED. [side note:: i bought an awesome shirt that says "dont label me" i like it] no matter how open someone's mind can be, there are always those initial stereotypes. its just human nature. no matter what anyone says, its always gonna be like that. the MOMENT that these people meet me, they're gonna think "okay. just another GIRL. that got mark. look at her. she's too COUPLY." okay. maybe not that, but if i was them, i know that i would judge me. aw hell. I would judge me negatively. because im not who i look like. i look like the typical filipino girl. my initial impression is always as the typical filipino girl. add white-washed to that. and i know that if i ever met me, that i would stereotype. judge. because on the outside, i am just another DRONE in the world of brainwashed fucks that walk around with no opinion of their own. just another stereotype. i fit in every possible category out there. and unless someone actually takes the time to get to know me... i mean really know me... then i remain that stereotype. and i know.... i just know... that i will be picked apart and not given a second chance. grr.

that's why im so angry at myself. because i let myself become the stereotype. as different as i am on the inside than i am on the outside.... no one ever sees that. and i wish that there was some way for people to really see me for who i am.... but there isnt. so forever i remain a stereotype. the typical, asian, sorority girl. dressed the part, act the part socially. every fucking aspect of my life just screams DRONE. this sucks.

but if i change my image now, people will just fucking shrug it off as my attempt at being "different." fuck this. im tired of it. screw all of them. let them judge. that just makes me the bigger person.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

its time for a REALITY CHECK. my life as of late has just been a lot of social activities and having absolutely nothing to do with the expansion of my brain and the betterment of myself. checked my grades on gradeline yesterday right before a day of galavanting for ronnie's birthday. turns out i got a 2.58 for that semester, plunging my already disappointing CUM GPA. its a 3.17 now. i feel like the biggest dumbass in the world.

because i know im better than this.

i dont go clubbing. i dont stay out til midnight every night. i dont spend my time being completely unproductive. i dont spend THIS much time away from the computer. and i dont eat this fucking much.

im turning into THE GIRLFRIEND. letting herself go (physically, mentally, and socially) because nothing that anyone else says matters anymore. not that it mattered before, but at least i used to care. i need to get my shit straight. and i know ive been saying that for the longest time. but really... i do. because i know im stronger than this. i know that whatever i put my mind to, that i will accomplish it. so... goal time. again. but this time i have til july. gives me a little over a month. because in july i WILL go see my kuya. and i WILL have a grip on myself. i refuse to let him see me not being me. he knows me best, and for him to see me like this would break his heart.

ACCOMPLISH BY JULY
::lose the donut around my waist. i've become SUCH a heffer over the past 2 weeks.
::SAVE up at least $700 for the trip to DC. that should cover the ticket and shopping expenses for the week.
::finish the books that i bought. what's the point of buying books if im not even gonna read them? and im in some serious need of SUBSTANCE.
::catch up on my magazines. not knowing my cartech SUCKS. i feel like i cant talk shit about all the psuedo-racers because im not up to par with my cartech either.
::find a server and make a new layout for 52govroom.com i know i lag. and i know i dont go online anymore. but i promise.... new layout. new server. all my archives will be posted. chill out.
::get my finances in check havent balanced my checkbook in a while. im running low on funds. no more shopping. n no more daily sushi trips.
::get my room spotless okay. i know that that one's probably impossible, but hey... whatever.
::re-structure 4 year plan couldnt take a couple of classes last semester. but this semester is gonna be HARDCORE studying. no more of this lagging bullshit. no more of this ditching bullshit. im PAYING for school myself. and seeing how horribly ive been doing lately, it feels like im wasting my money. im thinking of investing into one of those books that evaluate all of the professors. im tired of professors NOT CARING. i like the ones that get all that info out there. professors that only give you the minimum amount of information SUCK. stuff my brain damnit! i need brain food! not an easy A! easy As are always so much harder for me because i have a tendency not to care. fuck easy teachers. they dont teach you shit.
::set a time to be home i should set a time limit for me to BE home. 8 hours a day is just NOT enough time to spend at home.

okay. i think thats all. dont wanna overwhelm myself. and i dont wanna be late for work. eep!

Monday, May 27, 2002

CONFERENCE [insert conference blog here]

geocities is finally letting me retrieve my files. but the pages still cant be viewed. i guess its okay. as long as i can get to all of my archives, then it should be all good. the only thing that's really important is that i have a copy of all of my marfiles on disk. makes me think that maybe i should disk all of my blogger archives too. yech. long-term planning can be such a pain in the ass. grr

im sposed to meet up with ding right now. havent seen that girl since the last time i hit up pomona. btw, when i say RIGHT NOW, i mean like... right this second. but go figure.... i was away for a whole weekend. i have a lot to tell you... so stick around.

dont worry... blogspot is temporary. i just need to archive, then find a better server. transferring pictures is gonna be a bitch tho.

Friday, May 24, 2002

AWWW FUCKING HELL NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

NONE of my geocities accounts work. meaning that ALL of my fucking journal archives are missing. that's such a BIG fucking chunk of my life! GONE! what the FUCK!!!!! this is a load of bullshit. fucking geocities. FUCKING GEOCITIES! first aol. now this. motherfuckers!

im so angry right now its not even funny. not a good thing to happen right before i go on a road trip.

damnit.

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

also very flexible... in every which way. pull me, stretch me, wrap me around your little finger! haha!

I LOVE YOU MARK! "it's not abuse if i really mean it"

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

courtesy of e bobs feeling swell:: this guy is hilarious.

If you were stuck on an island and could bring one item, what would it be?
i can't really answer this... there's not enough info.... what kinda island is it... juss cause it's an island people automatically assume it's tropical but greenlands an island and it's covered in ice... so if i said what a lot of people might have said and said a gurl or something then i just made someone else freeze to death... or if i said a plane it wouldn't help me without a pilot but then does that qualify as two?... or if i said a boat and the island ended up being the kitchen island in my kitchen then i just ruined my kithchen and now i'd have a boat stuck in my kitchen... so the question has to be a little more specific before a could honestly answer it.

so i was illen in findapix n i came across this message from drick

yo... well, it's may 21st... and i was just goin' through ratin' fokes and i came across yours... and as your pic was loading on my slow martha fockin' computer, i read what you were sayin' about 'your impression of the findapix hotgirl' and you interested me... so i clicked the profile, and then i clicked your website and read what you had to say about life... and as it turns out, we share some of the same views... and you intrigued me... so i went back to the findapix profile and read your member spotlight... you dork [but it's okay cuz my answers are gonna be way goofier than yours]... and then you intrigued me. so i guess what i'm tryin' to say is... i'm kinda dyin' to hear [or i guess see since everything is typed] what you got to say... and i know i sound probably like your typical dood tryin' to get at you, but i'm not... i'm just lookin' to meet genuine, interesting people... and if you think i'm lyin', i'd love for the chance to prove you wrong. peace to your mom. drick has left the building

read up on his profile... this guy... CRACKS ME UP! yes... i think i be needin to have a little chat with this mutha. fellow cynics are always nice to chat with.

Monday, May 20, 2002

She don't care about my car
She don't care about my money
And that's real good because I don't got alot to spend
But if I did it wouldn't mean nothin'

She likes me for me
Not because I look like Tyson Beckford
With the charm of Robert Redford
Oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecisions
My insecure conditions
And the tears upon the pillow that I shed

She don't care about my big screen
Or my collection of DVD's
Things like that just never mattered much to her
Plus she don't watch to much t.v.

And she don't care that I can fly her
To places she ain't never been
But if she really wants to go
I think deep down she knows that
All she has to say is when

She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in "Fargo"
I think his name is Steve
She's the one for me
And I just can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again

And I'm so glad I found her once again
And I'm so glad I found her once again
Gazing at the ceiling
as we entertain our feelings in the dark
The things that we're afraid of are gonna show us
what we're made of in the end

She likes me for me
Not because I sing like Pavarotti
Or because I am such a hottie
I like her for her
Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don't see

She likes me for me
Not because I'm tough like Dirty Hairy
Make her laugh just like Jim Carrey
Unlike the Cable Guy
But what she sees
Is that I can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again
Found her once again
I'm so glad I found her once again
On again

i've said it once, and ill say it again... FUCK AOL!!!!!!! these overcharging motherfuckers... shit service. cant even fucking reimburse me for the months that my account had NO fucking activity. all my fucking email was SHIT from aol and their fucking supporters. damnit. fuckers.

hotness:: rockin plaid at boba jam
hotness:: making love, not having sex
hotness:: AphiG formals
hotness:: rockin toe socks
hotness:: FINALLY being able to rock platforms w/ my boyfriend
hotness:: the FREAK family
hotness:: the new asst manager at the horton plaza pacific eyes n tees
hotness:: 5.16.02 n 5.19.02

Saturday, May 18, 2002

Findapix ID: innovasian

If you were any fruit, what would you be?
im not a fruit, im so straight i could barely stand to see myself naked in the mirror

What is your pet-peeve?
i dont have any pet peeves because i looovvee animals stupid!, just kidding...... jesus freaks

What qualities do you admire in a person?
intelligence, humour, honesty

What qualities do you disapprove of in a person?
backstabbers, cockblockers, haters, stupidity, bad grammar, bad hygiene and the list goes on....

What quality do you possess that sets you apart from others?
my gargantuan penis, jk

If you were stuck on an island and could bring one item, what would it be?
a gun to shoot dangerous or delicious animals

Would u rather love someone or be loved?
the best thing about kids is makin em'

If tomorrow was your last day to live, what would you do?
off my enemies

What certain quality don’t you possess, but wish you did?
patience

When was the most courageous moment in your life?
when i saved the universe because i felt like a super hero

When was the most embarrassing moment in your life?
that one time when i....wait i blocked it from memory

What phrase do you use most often?
"good times", "oh crikey", "sometimes when i belch and fart at the same time, i see god"

TUAN cracks me up! his answers sound like mine. too bad he's hot-boy-with-no-game-2.

i've been online for too long. ack. if geoshitties was up, id be doing mre productive things.

sign my guestbook!

since the beginning of 52govroom.com, my guestbook has had 1225 hits and 69 signatures. what the FUCK is up with that? that comes to a 6% signature rate. meaning that only 3 of every 50 people that click on the guestbook actually take the time to SIGN it. you guys fucking SUCK.

4.27.02 3:11am secret blog::::
it was raining like a motherfucker. but we stayed out there. just to talk. the rain didnt matter. the only thing that mattered was the two of us. i really wanted to kiss him. but when i do... i want him to be completely sober. damn.

this is the past catching up to us.

formals TONIGHT! im so fucking excited i think im gonna pee in my pants!

damnit. but momma says i need to get my ass home by 4.

DONT WORRY... THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY!

geocities is taking the time to revamp everything. so i will be hosted on blogspot just for the weekend. hopefully none of my files are fucked with on geocities. damnit. sorry... but consider this your time to catch up on my blogspot. if you even knew that it existed. for those that cruise the links, sorry for the inconvenience. blame yahoo.

so now... on to the real shit. no more announcements. i sound like wunna those "i did this today..." bloggers. super lame.

psychology classifies love considering three different aspects. commitment, passion, and intimacy. ofcourse, the range of those three topics is generally ... well.. GENERAL. if a couple has two out of three of these qualities in their relationship, it is considered love.
commitment + intimacy = companionate love
commitment + passion = i forget
passion + intimacy = romantic love
passion + intimacy + commitment = marital love
for the most part, most of us try to achieve marital love, but settle for one of the other three choices. it's not because we decide that marital love is impossible; we, as humans, see love. when we see love, we try to keep a tight grasp of it... even if it's not the right type. go figure... humans are crazy.

and then.. the behaviorisms. humans also tend to lose themselves in relationship. no matter how much they try to maintain their individuality, there's a societal stigma about how you're supposed to act and feel when you're a part of "a couple." it may be conscious, it may be unconscious, but people tend to alter their lives in conjunction with their significant other. for the most part, it is a good thing, but that's where the trouble begins. they begin to lose themselves amid the "things that couples do."

i say... FUCK IT. you've worked too damn hard to be the person that you are to let some emotion gnarl everything up into something not recognizable. you become a part of a couple, and you lose track of who you are. forget what society thinks. you act the way you wanna act. you be the way you're supposed to be. i think boyfriend said it best: that to be a part of a couple the other person should be "an addition, not a subtraction" of your being. think of it this way::: the other person liked you for who you are, not what you could become. if they liked you for who you could become, then they're not worth the trouble. completely altering your life for the sake of a relationship is NOT COOL. time management... that's cool. being affectionate, that's cool. passion, intimacy, commitment... those all work. but to change your life and your outlook on it? i dont think so.

momma is cookin chicken adobo. the smell is intoxifying... infusing the entire household with that wonderful aroma. i cant think clearly anymore. damn im hungry.

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

"i know i can live without you. i just dont know if i want to." -- pacey witter, Dawson's creek

PACEY rocks. he has to be the sweetest talking motherfucker in the world.... err... or whoever it is that writes his lines. just check out his SHAG-resume.

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

thank you LORD for high speed internet! yes! i am in the oh-so fabulous SDSU computer lab. chillin in the airconditioned room... empty for today... and high speed internet. wow. i need to get this shit at home. (oh wait. it's at cox.net now! uh hur)

some dumb girls are hating on findapix. not that i should care. but last time i checked, i was above a 6.0 and today... im just a 6. weaksauce. someone is hatin like a mother fucker. and im really starting to get irritated. not that i should care what my rating is. but i dont... i just care that these people are fucking HATING! argh. damnit. if you ugly, then fucking deal with it. dont take your bitterness out on my cute ass. (uh hur) joke lang. wow. can someone pop my inflated head for me?

p.s. im still sitting on my ass waiting for my acceptance letter from rice bowl journals. am i too white washed or something? err... or something. maybe all of the emotional distress i portray at 52GoVroom.com is not the kind of shit they wanna hear. they wanna hear stupid daily shit. like "i ate rice today. im asian. go figure."

formals is fast approaching. and i have yet to get my shit embroidered. or pay for anything. at least i got my dedication page done. which i might add... is oh so cute. no... but its better than the all -text dedications that are so common nowadays (sorry jan. but text gets boring w/out some pictures. ill teach you how next time. at your new apartment!) the after party is gonna be bombdiggity. me n mark are gonna roll up w/ our MARS and redbull/vodka concoctions. (yey! i finally get to have what everyone keeps telling me stories about) woop woop. uh oh.

never been drunk before. im kinda scurd. things have gotten really heated lately, and with no inhibitions, who knows what could happen. err... or what WILL happen. sorry mark.. i have to bring the ropes and handcuffs. you were the approved sacrifice. its okay... ill be gentle.

Monday, May 13, 2002

eagerly awaiting my acceptance into the rice bowl journals web ring. sitting on my ass and waiting for email sucks. still debating on whether i should put in an app for flipblogs. but i think that would just be scary. GAWD i miss the freex ring. and whatever happened to jack's clique? hm. TAJ isnt getting me as much traffic as it used to. is it even still alive? iono. i havent checked in a while.

but i shouldnt be worrying about traffic. the other night my site was down cuz i had too much traffic at one time. damn findapix.

Bri finally watched Spiderman last night. FINALLY! argh. i feel kinda bad for being the BIG DISS lately. dissin the sisters (but not intentionally!) n especially the game pieces. but the game is over, so what am i trippin on. but still... it's suckness when you hear "dude, you always make excuses not to chill. whats up with that?" dont think you want the honest truth. 'sides.... i like hearin the offers. HAH! ey... i gotta get my kicks someway.

320 and 230 finals tomorrow. plus a 260 final review. and a 102 paper. woop woop. not excited. but im excited that i only have to make 2 more appearances at school and i get to peace out for the rest of the summer. ah yes. and i get to sell back my books for less than half the price that i payed for them! wow. this shit bites.

oh yeah. remind me to hit up horton plaza today. i need to talk to mark about my jobby job.

Sunday, May 12, 2002

Pisces
Dating a vegetarian can be hard when you're a meat-eater, and vice versa. Instead of trying to convert each other, accept your differences in lifestyle and try to work around them.

its been kinda hard. libras need constant attention. constant contact. and im not getting that. but i know that if i was, that it would be distracting. and i know that's the last thing i need right now. but still... ah. i dont know. its just a hard adjustment to make. he needs his solitude. i need my companionship. so its kind of hard to work around that. im trying to accept it right now, but its taking some time. ive gotten a lot better tho. yippee.

im watching a documentary on Tutenkhamun's tomb opening. ive heard this story a million times. watched a million or so documentaries on it, but it never ceases to fascinate me. i shouldnt have been Greek... i shoulda been Egyptian. haha. no. j/k. but i swear... all through out middle school, i believed that i was the Goddess Isis in one of my past lives. crazy shit. i was schizo back then.

i need some meditation time. today i cleaned part of my room. found my floor. cleaned out some of the clothes in my closet that i havent worn in a few seasons. and found my couch. (but its missing again under a pile of [neatly folded] jeans) but seriously... i need some meditation time... or i need to get my nerves in relax mode before finals.

ACK! toyota is bringing over the Corolla T-Sport! Woop woop! its basically a corolla hatch w/ a 2ZZGE engine. 6 speed tranny. enhanced suspension. lighter feel. its not sexy, but damnit... EAT ME! take THAT honda! damn civic lovers can kiss my poonani.

commitment phobia:: i found the scientific name for it::: "Merintho-philo-phobic"

its always been in me. as a libra, ive always tried to supress it, because as a libra, the one thing i look forward to in life is marriage.

so why am i like this? maybe because every relationship i had before genaro ended up in heartbreak. you know about joe. you know about erik. then jeff. then erik again. then greg. (bottom line, i wasnt the only girl in their lives. i was just ONE of the GIRLFRIENDS) and i never mentioned my "bf" back in elementary that um "cheated" on me with my best friend. but that's old shit.

i got through a 4 year relationship, and it was fine. but maybe it was cuz i wasnt the phobe in that relationship. i dont know. i cant explain it. but as of now, im just running, running, running away. because i dont know what's going on. i have no definition. i just kinda shut myself out of myself. ah. tha'ts why i havent been myself lately. ive been hanging out with too many crabs. damn crabs. stop hiding in your shells!

bah. i dont know what it is. maybe i just.. BLEH. whatever. im not even gonna think about it. if you take too long, you're gonna get left behind.

Saturday, May 11, 2002

RJ says::

You know, you read someone else's blog... maybe it's someone you already know or not... but you read their stuff and you can actually hear their voice right?

Since we're pretty much free to just rant on without any formal structure or style and because we can do so without any regard for tense or voice to use, we're inclined to write the exact word for word schizophrenic lines of thought that we have. And if we're not editing, which most of us aren't, we may not only be recording our stream of thought but also the way we communicate with others.

When reading people's blogs I can actually hear their voices as if they were talking. And I can hear the very intonations and pacing that they would be using in actual discussion. You can hear me talking right now like a big motherfucking jackass right? Right?!

And if it's someone I don't know then somehow a magical voice from my imagination pops into my head and takes the place of that person's voice. Using visual cues (sex, build, personality) I put together some bullshit 'type' of voice that I'd have for them.

i couldnt have said it better myself!

had some time to kill at the mall today. had to wait for my presents to get finished being engraved at Things Remembered. so i decided to hit up B.Dalton for some brain food. picked up a couple of magazines and caught up on my new age. picked up a couple of books. ah yes. i havent done that in the longest. lack of time is such a burden. im looking forward to this summer.

picked up the new import tuner. just for the article on reggie's car. just to be able to show that "hey.. that's my car's best friend." and since i've been out of the import loop for so long... i figgered that i shoulda just picked one up. import tuner is like the "import racing for dummies" handbook. also picked up the new sport compact car. even though im out of the loop, it doesnt mean that i dont remember my tech. engines are generally the same as before. but new tech means more to learn. YUM! brain food!

im back to my normal weight of 125. but i feel oh-so-FLUFFY! all of my muscle tone is virtually ZERO. so i think that i should get back into healthy mode over the summer. my love handles are getting out of hand.. and that is SO not hotness. i feel all icky. ew. im such a heffer.

can someone just please SHOOT ME?!?!? ah. well.. esty i know you're gonna shoot me dead at formals. AH! i cant believe this. grr!!!!

if you dont shoot me... then can someone at least catch me?

Friday, May 10, 2002

"good boys gone bad" ... i HAVE to make a video someday!

Thursday, May 09, 2002

im doing research right now... I SWEAR! but ye... blogger.. so addictive.

what time is it? 5am-ish? yeah... ive been reading and processing all night long... i DESERVE a blogger break! and i didnt get to go to BobaJam at quickly last night either. =( its okay tho. i had to study. thanks mark... you're always lookin out. *fishy kiss*

OKAY!! really. its time for me to go back to studying n research. ack! i cant wait til next week at this time. woop woop!

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

i think i really need to start getting back into these webrings. more traffic. but do i really want more traffic? kinda yes and kinda no. yes because.. hey... any traffic is good traffic... kinda no because i know i have nothing very worthwhile to say. im just a babbling idiot right now. blinded by... well... just blinded for now. but its a happy feeling!

does anyone remember the freex ring? or jacks clique? or the asian journalists? that was some good shit. theres some newer ones, but those were my favorite. =) and it was a nice expansion out of san diego. i mean.. granted most of them were up in shuttle (seattle) or up in the bay or mostly norcal, but it was a lot different from SAN DIEGO. its not fun reading up on people that you're gonna see in a couple of hours. well yeah it is... but...that's not growth.

damnit. i have to get ready for work. blogger has this weird magnetism to it just before i go to work. eep!

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

hung out with the pooh bear again yesterday. it was kinda unexpected. he had to bring our kid to the body shop and he didnt have a ride home. so i figgered.. i wanna see my baby anyway, so ill just drive him home n make a cd on his computer. and i feel kinda bad cuz we wont be able to chills tonight as previously planned. ive been flaking on all my boys for other boys lately... go figure.

we ended up kinda hangin for the whole day til i had to go to my APHIG meeting. iono. it was one of those days. got ice cream. mall ratted for a while (HOLY SHIT THERES AN ABERCROMBIE IN UTC!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!! )) but ye. nothing special. his momma misses me. i miss her too.

you should hear my cd. i like it. REPLAY!

this is some boring shit. 52GoVroom.com is better.

Monday, May 06, 2002

tuan wants to chills tomorrow. after he gets out of class. im wondering if i should. i know i shouldnt. but... maybe it will help clear the air even more. nothing says "not looking" like chillin with a hot boy without flirting with him. ;)

just like the whole brian situation... seeing him today... even tho i know he's a cool guy... even bf material... even if he's the bald guy w/ the nice body.... the big dork that knows his way around cars.... the guy that calls every night to stay up with me.... i was sure that when i saw him there would be sparks flying. but... NOTHING! wow. now im SURE. ahhh. the air is clear. the night was BOMB. woop woop! hey check out the LIBRA makin some decisions!

right now im just satisfied. because ... just because. i had a very good night. and the air was clear. the ISK was as good as ever.... damn. today was a good day.

Sunday, May 05, 2002

isyss f/ jadakiss::: day and night

ill get lyrics later... cuz IM LATE FOR WORK!!! damn internet. so addictive

Saturday, May 04, 2002

"call me when you get off okay?"

i used to dread hearing those words...but i guess when its coming out of the right person... its not so bad. cuz when i hear those words, it makes me so giddy. makes me happy to be at work, because i know someone is waiting for me when i leave. its just something to look forward to after a hard day. makes me keep the energy up to stay up all night and talk... well... sleeping over the phone works too. ;)

"dance dance dance dance. monkey monkey monkey MONKEY!!! boba boba boba boba!"

like i said... when its coming out of the right person....

right now im just trying to get my shit straight. trying to make some decisions... trying to clear the air... trying to make sure that im sending out the right vibes. i dont want to have an episode like my big bro. ((but i think that's what makes us family.)) ive come to the decision that playing games isnt fun when i have to start working at it. i think ill just stop with the games already and get down to the nitty gritty of it all. =P wish me luck.... with the games ive been playing... im gonna need it.

extended VROOM