extended VROOM

I really like Jon. I don't know what to do with it. Because lately he's been frustrating me and I don't know what to do with it. UGH.

SO lately it's been a little weird. He's really stressing out about his instrumental check ride and his interview on Thursday. But he's been stressing about it for the past couple of weeks. I've been stressed out with moving, with exams, my class, VIA launch, the end of FY09 and just life in general. I felt so behind and unorganized. Totally not myself. So I was stressed out. He was stressed out. We didn't see each other for days. Communication was very limited. And that stressed me out even more.

You know how I am. I need someone supportive. Accommodating. At the very least, someone that can make time for me as a priority. That's a lot to ask for, right? But hey... it's what I expect.

And that hasn't been the case. I saw him for a few hours on my birthday last week and that was the extent of us spending time together. This week has been the same. I went there on Monday night and we studied together. Trying to spend time with him lately has been like pulling teeth. It's frustrating! I don't know if I'm invested enough to keep putting up with it. Brian says to just stick it out for a little bit because Jon is really a sweetheart and we like each other and he's just stressed out and doesn't know how to handle it.

Brian said that people don't handle things the way I do. I understand that. But DUDE. I'm not really asking for much. And I'm the one willing to make the drive and the sacrifice and I have lot more on my plate than he does! So what the hell? It's frustrating because I have been pushing my friends to the side because I never know what his schedule is gonna be like and I want to be accommodating to it because I know our time together is limited. But DUDE.

I think I just need to figure out how invested I am in this and if it's worth the effort. I'm getting so frustrated with him and I don't like the feeling.

And now Aunt Jane is moving to Texas in 3 weeks. And he doesn't really know what he's gonna do as far as residency. And.. well... I just sent him this long email about how it's an option to come stay with me for a bit. I don't know. I don't regret sending it. But right now I feel funny about it. I don't know. I know talking to him would make it better. But my gut is telling me otherwise.

Just frustrated with him, that's all. And I know if I bring it up that he's gonna stress out even more. And that's the last thing that we need right now. UGH. I don't know.

posted by ahoy there matey @ 8:44 PM